I'm putting away a vase Carol washed; it has a yellow crosshatch pattern. She gave it to me.
"I love this vase," I say, "the yellow plaid one you gave me." I pause. "This is one of those times you don't want to hear what's going on in my head. I'm thinking, 'You know, "plaid" and "plait" have to be related etymologically.' " (They aren't.)
"Go away," Carol says from the other room. "Leave us normal people alone."