When it came to those high notes on "I Saw Her Standing There," Sting and his companions probably should have had a Plan B.
Christina Aguilera -- every time she gets off the ride, they give her another ticket for a different one.
Oh hey, they fouled up Celine Dion's mike! It's not something they save for me! (Do I have an audience of hundreds of millions? No. Do they get feedback scores in a spreadsheet? They do not. I do.)
Hey Madonna! How come your forehead don't wrinkle?
Sting and Sean Paul. You see? This is why we have the Grammys. This is why we let people fade away instead of burning out. I remember the mix tape a guy made me in 10th Grade, and it was nickel slick. I got him to put Roxanne and Don't Stand So Close to Me on it, and leave the rest blank. And I played that thing in the car until it wore the heck out. Betcha Sean Paul did too.
Someone told Justin Timberlake he should do these things. But he simply should have replied, "Hey, you know, I am a mere tyro. I am not worthy. Just tell Mr. Sandoval I will ask for his autograph later."
Yoko points out that "In the beginning, there was The Beatles." Let Robert Johnson know. And Bessie Smith, and Little Richard. An extraordinary gift for utter lack of perspective. Glad Ringo's still the funny one. Sorry George really is the Quiet One now.
Doc Watson: Muskrat! Muskrat! Why do you smell so bad, Muskrat? [phenomenal picking goes here]
Evanescence: Oh, such a sweet hook on that single.
Earth, Wind, and Fire: Music from back when I had a bedtime. High notes, but at what price? Nice harmony. I still remember when the kid who sat next to me in algebra -- a preacher's kid -- told me to get the "Best Of" record if I got nothing else. And he also spoke well of The Sugar Hill Gang. Now Outkast is onstage with EWF. No wonder Kronos feared Zeus.
The Funk Army: Never with so many voices. Didn't work in "The Last Waltz." Didn't work in that A.R.M.S. benefit. Just doesn't work.
Sarah Maclachlan: What a lovely voice on the transitions. Undermixed on the straightaways.
Warren Zevon Tribute: We all feel bad, because we didn't pay enough attention. It's that Werewolves of London thing. Only thing worse than having a super hit single is not having one, I guess.
Still love the Grammys.